Language is the most important invention in human history. It was how we started a different path from other creatures on the planet. Without language, we would not know how to deliver information on a large scale. And there would be no documentation of our history.
Language allows us to tell the truth, but also enable us to tell whatever we want to. Previous research has found that people tell an average of one or two lies a day. Well, it is much lower than my expectation. However, if we count fake responses as lies, the number would surprise us. For example, you probably would pretend you are okay with something because you don't want to hurt your friend's feelings, but actually, you are pissed off. In this case, you are giving out a piece of fake information that does not represent your true feelings.
I started to stop giving fake responses three years ago. Honestly, I am still working on it. The truth is that you cannot eliminate all of them initially. It started from creating awareness and then taking action. The result is magnificent. I have been able to confront my feelings in a more honest way that makes sense of happiness, but my honesty has also been beneficial to the people around me. The misunderstanding has been wiped away because I am honest with everyone, including myself. Humans naturally value honesty over lies.
November Rain 丨 Kun Lu
The words we say are not just to other people but also ourselves. In the book "The Four Agreements", Miguel presented the first agreement to have a happier life: be impeccable with your words. The influence of the words we say is enormous. Words are invisible, and what is invisible is powerful. When you look at the online search engine, you can find numerous courses about presentation, negotiation and communication techniques. But the best answer is as simple as the first agreement: saying words that you mean it, with good intention.
Furthermore, the more you are aware of your words, the less you would say because you would only say the truth and important things. And then, you would allow yourself to put more effort to listen. Lao Tzu said: Great oratory seems stuttering. We don’t need words to make us looks smart if wisdom is already in us.
Some takeaways for you to practice:
Be aware of your words
Ask yourself: am I telling the truth?
Make the decision, not judgement
Always say words with good intention
Do your best and take time